Email is a poor medium for conducting a dispute with someone. Here’s why:

1. It feels easier to lambaste someone in writing. You’re less likely to do so verbally in real time. That’s just how people are. So writing kind of protects you? It doesn’t.
2. When you put something in writing you can’t take it back. Once it’s in writing, it’s confirmed. What’s worse is that your writings can be used in evidence against you.
3. There is no “tone of voice” in writing, so the reader has only the text to go on. Your tone will be subject to the readers interpretation. Therefore if you are building a case against them, that’s exactly what it will look like in writing. Which is why the response you get is most likely to take on the same tone as your writing.
4. It takes a long time to put together a watertight argument on email, and several edits so that it doesn’t sound too harsh. If you’re on the attack – a hastily written diatribe is a seriously bad idea.
5. An email is a monologue, meaning the target can not respond in real time.
6. It can take hours, days or weeks as the message goes back and forth, and the heat is likely to escalate with each email.
7. You have no guarantee that your target won’t “carbon copy” the other people in on their response
8. It’s very easy to ruin a relationship on email due to a misunderstanding.

So what would be better?

Pick up the phone and phone ‘em! That way you can have a “real time” conversation with them and stand a better chance of resolving things quicker and with far less antagonism. You are more likely to be reasonable on the phone than in writing.

Can’t get through? Send a text message asking to speak to them about something important. No response? Follow up with the same message via email. Still no response? Try the dreaded voicemail. Still no luck? Phone their land line and leave a message with a real person. Then wait 7 days – you never know, they may be on leave. Then start again.

Email wars almost always exacerbate a tense situation and are best avoided. Getting multiple parties involved in an email war can have devastating consequences.

On the other had, email is still a wonderful tool, but only if used smartly, and appropriately.

Paul du Toit, Certified Speaking Professional, Author, Blogger, MD Congruence Training (Pty) Ltd http://www.congruence.co.za

Life is, unfortunately, not that easy. Stuff happens. People miss deadlines, flights and appointments. They get stressed. There’s traffic, bad weather, war. Equipment malfunctions, gets dropped, becomes old and starts breaking down. People forget, break promises. In short, any person with a normal life will know that life is filled with difficulties.

Poor customer ratings can be reversed.

When difficulties arise, being people, we usually react. The voracity of our reaction is related to how important the event or stimulus is to us personally. The manner in which we react is partly influenced by our mental conditioning. The reality is, our levels of service are not being tested when things are easy, they’re tested when things are difficult. It is our ability to handle and sort out problems that is really a prized asset in business.

You may have noticed that some people handle problems better than others. For instance, one person dealing with difficult hair in the morning may shrug and accept it, whilst another may get in to a foul temper and start shouting at those in the immediate vicinity.

W.Mitchell says: “It’s not what happens to you, it’s what you do about it.” He is in my opinion, qualified to make this statement having been badly burnt in a motor cycle accident, and years later paralyzed in a plane crash-landing. The point is, the lasting outcome of a difficult situation is determined by how we apply our minds and actions to it.

The key here is that we are well aware of how we should be behaving and the example we should be setting. But because our focus is on what seems important at the time, we let slip vital behaviours upon which our customers judge us. The trap is that what our customers see as important is not equally important to us. If you’re not solving the customer’s problem in her mind, the perception is that service is poor. In the mind of the customer, perception is fact.

Can difficulties be a good thing? Yes they most certainly can, and here’s why. If your job were easy, why would they need you in it. You get paid in direct proportion the difficulty of the job and your perceived ability to sort out problems.

So here is something that you can do to increase your value to your organisation. Find out from your customers (by asking them) what good service means to them. It’s a simple question, but if you know that, then you know what to do to keep them. Then (this is the 2nd question) ask if they had a problem, how would they like it resolved? Keep good records of their responses. You may discover that you have not been instinctively focusing on the things that are most important. With this knowledge you can deliberately do what you were not doing instinctively. The third question is equally important. “How do you recognize poor/bad service?” By asking these simple questions we are able to focus our responses on our customer’s real needs rather than our perceptions of what they need.

Too many people spend too much time on things that do not produce meaningful results. When you learn to ask the right questions of the right people, you become more valuable to yourself, your employer and your customer. Often those people, who know the right questions and understand what they need to focus on are the ones who are sought after. They’re the people who end up earning more.

Don’t let anyone say that good customer awareness is not good for the bottom line. It benefits you, your organization and your customer. It moves those ratings up – dramatically.

Paul du Toit, Certified Speaking Professional, Author, Customer Service Speaker

You can be in a relaxed state, well prepared, having just parked outside the presentation venue. You’re at the right place – early. You’ve got your back up drive, you’ve packed all your cables. you have cue cards just in case you go blank, but you won’t – because you’re prepared and you’ve rehearsed. Your clothes are right for the occasion – smart but not too stuffy. Shoes are polished, hair is neat. You left your hotel extra early just in case, and had a clear run through to the venue. This meant checking out of your hotel and paying your extras the night before, and getting up extra early the next morning.

You know how you’ll start. Your topic is interesting and you have 2 compelling stories that will illustrate your key points. You’ve timed exactly where you need to be at what point so that you finish on time without rushing. And when you close off, it will be decisive and powerful. You’ve done this before, you know what to expect – you’re set for success.

Alternatively – you’re feeling just a little nervous – in fact, very nervous. You’ve been this route before. You know from past experience that you’re not much of a public speaker, and you keep telling yourself that because when you fail, it won’t have been unexpected. Right now you’re stuck in traffic. You arranged for someone to meet you so that you would have a relaxed set up. But your B&B only served breakfast at 7am, so you had to wait. There’s still time to get there, but instead of a leisurely set up, it will be rushed. You hope your contact is there to meet you – unfortunately you forgot to take down their cell number, so you can’t phone and check.

A rushed start can undo hours of preparation. And it’s a real pity, considering the time, effort and expense you put in to creating a really great presentation. Not to mention your audience research, beautiful slides and then all that rehearsing.

If you really want your presentation to be a success, you need to set yourself up for success.

1. The venue needs to be appropriate for the kind of presentation you’re going to deliver. This includes lighting, sound, seating, comfort, air conditioning and other logistics. You can only ensure this if you get there early, or preferably the day before.

2. The audience needs to know what to expect. That’s often what draws them to come and hear you. Once they’re there, they will not want to be disappointed. You should arrange a proper introduction. When you start, set your context clearly.

3. You, the presenter need to be thoroughly prepared with a very clear objective. You should have rehearsed, and you need to know exactly what you’re going to do and what you’ll be speaking about. You need to be in the right frame of mind to deliver the best presentation you can in the moment.

4. You not only need to be ready to start on time, but even early if the occasion demands it for whatever reason. You may even need to make adjustments in the event of a late start and a request to shorten your presentation at the last minute.

Many a seemingly well prepared presentation has been undone on the day due to a rushed set-up. It would be a shame were this to happen to you. Preparation only stops the second you step on to the podium.  Make sure that your set up is relaxed and free of stress.

When the audience arrives, you should be all set up and ready to go. Not only will you enjoy yourself more – but your audience will get what they came for – your commanding performance!

It is quite remarkable how confident one can become with just a few successive wins under your belt.

Paul du Toit, Certified Speaking Professional and Presentation Skills Coach www.presentationskills.co.za

If you have had occasion to entertain someone at substantial trouble and expense you may expect a “thank you” afterwards, because that will be what you learned to do (I expect!). If this is not forthcoming,  you may conclude that your guests are thoughtless, rude, or have been improperly raised.

We all prioritize what we regard as important. So being made to wait for a confirmed meeting makes us feel less important. Being stood up is downright insulting. When someone lets you down, you are entitled to assume that it’s a reflection of where you stand in their pecking order of priorities. If I let someone down, I feel it is a negative reflection of me, not them. Either way, it can be frustrating when others do not meet our “common decency” expectations.

Reality is that some of the finer touches of “common decency” were never conditioned into some of the nicest people we know. It follows then that an etiquette check list of common decency may prove useful (not for you, of course, but to pass on to those who need it). Here are 10 suggestions:

1. When someone has “spoiled” you, then phone, sms or email and thank them afterwards – or even better, send a handwritten card or note.
2. Try to reply to personalised emails (exclude spam and newsletters from this suggestion). Acknowledging is very powerful. Conversely your failure to acknowledge an email from a client could be construed as rudeness, and may encourage them to take their business elsewhere.
3. If you are unable to make an appointment and need to postpone or cancel, phone and let the person know as soon as possible. Their time is just as valuable as yours – everyone has just 24 hours in every day and would like to use their time efficiently.
4. If you are running more than 5 minutes late, make a call (or send a SMS) to let them know or ask someone reliable to do it for you. If you have agreed to meet someone on neutral ground, do your best to be on time. We’ve all experienced the frustration of making the effort to be on time and then having to wait 20 minutes in no-man’s land – no fun at all. It’s even more frustrating if they don’t show up at all!
5. When someone has come to see you at your offices and they are on time, it is unacceptable to keep them waiting. If they are early, they will expect to only be seen at the appointed time, but if you can accommodate them, it’s a nice gesture to do so.
6. If you have been involved in any kind of dispute and discover that you were wrong, utter the magic words “I’m sorry, I made a mistake.” Even computers, that are not supposed to make mistakes, do. Humility goes a long way in repairing damaged relationships, and a simple “I’m sorry” does wonders.
7. Do not pester. If someone says no – it usually means no, at least for now. If you then get stood up because you wouldn’t take no for an answer, then learn to be philosophical about your let-down.
8. Do what you say you will do. If you find you won’t be able to, then say so. If your delivery on your promise is running late, warn them in good time.
9. Last minute cancellations are bad form and give the impression of being uncaring and disorganized. It’s better to say “no” up front than mess someone around.
10. Try and confirm appointments on the day – this affirms not only your expectation that the meeting is happening, but reminds the other party to be on time. This is particularly important when you’re doing the traveling.

All this is obvious, isn’t it? And you all do these things all the time, right? Perhaps we can get a bit caught up in our own self importance from time to time. I remember a meeting many years ago with a Managing Director of a large company who quipped light-heartedly “Last Saturday night my wife reminded me that I may be the MD at the office but that doesn’t apply at home. I was then instructed to pick up that dishcloth and dry the darn dishes!”

Wouldn’t it be great if everyone would follow these basic principles?

Paul du Toit, Certified Speaking Professional, Author and Customer Service Speaker

Let’s consider road rage. We’re in a car. Someone hoots at us from the safety of their car. We react by hooting back, a little more aggressively. We’ve allowed the other person to affect us, and we have responded by taking on or copying their behaviour. That’s called mirroring. And it’s a dangerous little game, because we’re allowing our emotions to be directed by our reactions to our current environment.

That’s what happened to me when I learned to drive. At age 21 I was driving back from the shops with my girlfriend and another driver made an error. I hooted aggressively, passed them at speed and continued driving – at speed. When we got home after unpacking the car, my girlfriend asked me to sit down for a chat.

“What actually happens to you when you get behind the wheel of your car?” she asked

“What do you mean?” I asked, genuinely surprised. She was becoming emotional.

“You change completely!” she exclaimed “into an aggressive pig!” Harsh words for such a gentle person. My ears were pinned back. “You throw the car around corners, you hoot at people – you act just like your father!” The dreaded accusation. But that was it – exactly.

My father was my hero. He was the strongest, cleverest, best looking guy in the world. He wasn’t really, but to me as a child it felt as though he was all that and more. And in those days I wanted to be just like him. Later, that opinion changed, but in some ways I became just like him – both good and bad. And part of the bad was imitating the way he drove. I was mirroring his exact temperament and behaviour behind the wheel of a car without even realising it. When I sat behind the wheel of my car I became a different person, until I alighted from the cabin – then I became me again. If I didn’t make some adjustments soon, this mindset could get me killed.

Mirroring is not necessarily an ingrained behaviour. It happens on the spur of the moment too. Someone is rude to us. Our tendency is to want to be rude back to them. But what if we could turn it around? How would it be if, when a person is rude to you, your response is to be persistently kind and helpful. In other words, you do not let that person’s negative behaviour affect who you are one little bit?

When the teller at the supermarket is off-hand and disinterested, you remain warm, kind and cheerful, and continue being so. The effect is that in some cases you will actually succeed in altering their response to you. Why does this happen?

Because they have instead reacted by mirroring your positive behaviour! You have not only prevented yourself from descending into anger, you have altered their state from negative to positive.

Hold on to that thought today!

Paul du Toit, CSP & Customer Service Speaker. http://www.pauldutoit.net

Paul du Toit, CSP

Usually if you can’t see them coming, you can hear them, or at worst smell the burning rubber. Difficult customers can be the bane of our lives, the kind of people who take up large chunks of our valuable time nit-picking away at seemingly trivial issues and actually costing us money in the process – the kind of folk we’d like to shepherd gently in to a barrel of over-fermented port and roll over the cliffs of Dover (we shall call this Plan A). But it’s not always the best remedy for our irritation and here’s why:

Interestingly, and logically too, there’s a fair chance that if you find someone to be difficult to deal with, others may be experiencing the same problem with that person. The experience of that person’s world is that it is a hostile and unfriendly place with a whole bunch of folk just waiting to get at them. The response is to give everyone hell most of the time. This, of course, places you in the firing line too.

Imagine the surprise when someone (you), instead of becoming defensive and reactive, bucks the trend and genuinely tries to help this person despite their crabby attitude. Well, once they’ve got over the surprise of being treated like a valuable human, you may just have won yourself a devoted fan for life! Difficult people are difficult with most other people. They annoy practically everyone. When you take the effort to exercise tolerance which they are not accustomed to receiving, you break the pattern, and could run the risk of discovering the nice person inside who’s just been waiting to come out. So often your difficult customer is a frustrated person with poor communication skills crying desperately for help.

This tactic may, however, not work with everyone. There are some customers that you may wish to refer to plan A. Here’s a suggestion for dealing with those difficult customers that may prevent you getting a criminal record for life:

If you have someone in your organisation performing a similar function to you, suggest a 50/50 swap. You take on a handful of their difficult customers in exchange for a quid-pro-quo handful of yours. By each starting on a clean slate with one another’s tough ones, you both have an opportunity to develop fresh relationships with inside information. YOu know in advance what you’re dealing with. Result? Customer retained, stress reduced, profitability sustained. Simple? Yes. Intelligent? Very.

And this leads us to an important version of the difficult customer – the complainer. The large corporates that can afford to, have been known to spend hefty sums on customer service surveys to find out what they’re doing right and wrong. The information is often quite general and varied. The cost is high, and may become outdated quickly.

Bring on the complainer: He tells you precisely how you’ve messed up, what you did wrong and what he wants you to do about it. And he does so free of charge. That complainer is giving us a clear 4 point message:

1. I’m still your customer (non-complainers just leave you without saying a word)
2. Solve my problem (quick!)
3. Make sure it doesn’t happen again
4. Maybe someone else is having a similar problem (or most likely 19 other people).

You see, 19 out of 20 people don’t bother to complain because they’re scared of the reaction they may get. They just take their business elsewhere. Perhaps this gives us a different perspective of the value of our “complainer”, or difficult customer versus the irritation factor. Fact is most companies still sweep their complaints under the carpet or hide them in a secret bottom drawer. Think-ahead companies deliberately publish their biggest complaints in their company newsletter and the procedure that was followed by the employee who addressed, followed through and solved the problem. Now this makes benchmarking sense, and not only creates a positive precedent, but contributes positively to the customer service culture in an organisation.

http://www.congruence.co.za

Presentation Skills Expert

These tips come from years of not only training and coaching presentation skills delegates, but assessing them too. These are easily the most basic errors that inexperienced presenters make on their visuals. These errors have a catastrophic impact on audience perception and apart from immediately labeling you amateurish, will detract from your message and your outcome. These tips apply to both users of Keynote and PowerPoint. If you can eliminate these 9 errors, your visuals will look crisp and interesting.

Error 1. Too much text.

Apart from a headline, the purpose of text on a visual is to highlight main points only. Avoid long sentences and multiple bullet points.

Error 2. Small text.

If your text is too small there is probably too much of it anyway. The main problem with the font being too small is simple really – some people simply can’t read it!

Error 3. No Picture (or an insignificant one).

The purpose of a visual is to create a link to what you, the presenter are saying. Clip art is yesterday. Take your own good quality pictures and use them in your visuals. It’s also important to use just one picture per slide. Even if there a several bullet points, each slide should have a central theme, message or point, and the picture should seek to illustrate this.

Error 4. Too Many Slides.

Good presenters create pictures in the mind using words skillfully, and use a few well positioned slides to enhance the vocal message. When a visual is up, you’re telling the audience to look at the visual. When you’re finished with it, take the visual away so that the audience will look at you. While the visual is up, use only occasional gestures so that you don’t appear static.

Error 5. No Slide Free Time.

You are in fact the message, not your visuals. Slides are there to enhance your message. The time to become more animated is when no slide is up. Use strong, big meaningful gestures, mostly to describe key points. If you want to move your feet, walk purposefully. It is best to make key points standing still and using large, deliberate gestures.

Error 6. Poor Use of Remote Mouse (RM).

When, using a RM to move slides on, keep your hand still and depress the mouse button with your finger. There’s no need to wave your arm about – it wont make the RM work any better, and it indicates inexperience in the presenter. If the RM is not as responsive as it should be, change the battery!

Error 7. No Text Animation

When using bullet points, bring up the text summarizing each point as you raise it, point by point. If you blast all your text up as you start the slide, the audience may read it all instead of listening to you and you will lose them. This is exacerbated if you have too much text.

Error 8. Being too clever.

Apart from text animation, special effects seldom enhance your presentation, they usually detract from your message. Keep the visuals simple, clear and uncomplicated. Your attention on the day should be focused on speaking clearly and connecting with your audience – not doing battle with your slide show!

Error 9. Transition confusion.

Using transitions between slides is a good idea, but fix on one standard transition for the majority of your slides. It may be necessary to use a special transition occasionally, but keep these to the minimum.

The layout of the venue and your audience profile will more than likely determine whether you should sit or stand when presenting. You may have to make a call on this when you arrive depending on access to plug points, the size and shape of tables and your layout area. A good idea is to arrive early. That way, you have plenty of time to set up and prepare yourself mentally to knock their socks off!

What is of course more important, is that you achieve your desired outcome. These tips will help you do just that!

http://www.presentationskills.co.za

In a presentation context, how you look refers to your overall visual image rather than how attractive you may be, with perhaps a few exceptions. Audience members respond to a number of factors including connection, content, structure, projected visuals, energy and presenter appearance. So yes, it is an important factor.

An accepted rule of presentation is to dress similarly to your audience, or one step up. This becomes complicated the bigger and more diverse an audience is. In such a case, take your cue from the context of the presentation itself. If you’re an Advertising Account Manager pitching an innovative advertising campaign , a colourful, slightly quirky style of dress is expected as it exudes creativity. If you’re a male Banker or Accountant presenting company results and projections, the gray suit, white shirt and conservative tie is appropriate as it exemplifies trust and stability.

Dressing one step up creates an impression of the presenter being in control. There is a psychological disconnect when the presenter is under-dressed compared to her audience. In the event of there being hostility in your audience and you are dressed one step below them, your attempts at establishing control of the situation could be that much harder as your credibility could be at stake.

There is, however, a twist in the tail. If you have a specific brand image, particularly one that you portray on your marketing materials, then people will expect to see you portrayed similarly to your published image. It is possible to have versions of your branded image which blends the 2 positions. The main point is that your physical image should never be ignored when presenting. It is important to put some thought in to who your target audience is, and then dress appropriately.

Just as your content needs to be about context and be adequately researched, so should every element of your presentation. The image segment extends to attire, jewelery, hair and makeup too.

A final tip: Plan your outfit for your next presentation a few days in advance. You may be able to haul out a iron and quickly press a crumpled suit, but cleaning off the cream spilled on your sleeve a month ago could be more complicated. Dressing well shows your audience respect. It’s the first step toward creating a strong connection.

Paul du Toit, Certified Speaking Professional, Presentation Skills Expert and Author of “You Can Present With Confidence”.

• Don’t get involved in cheerleader-type screaming activities – ever.
• Singing gently en route to the venue is recommended. If you don’t know any songs, scales will do, and it’s not essential to sing in tune. This may all be a little awkward if you’re travelling on the underground!
• Never consume dairy within 90 minutes of your presentation commencing. This includes tea/coffee with milk, chocolate, cheeses or yoghurt.
• Avoid eating a big meal immediately before a presentation. If you need to eat, make it a small, nutritious snack. Fruit or raw vegetables are good.
• Ice water constricts the voice – you want yours to be nice and warm when you start speaking. Most presentation venues will bring you iced water unless you specify otherwise. Ask for a cup or glass of hot water. Allow to cool slightly, then sip one third of a glass prior to starting.
• Five slow deep breaths before you start will help to relax your vocal muscles. Big, deep breath in through your nose, slowly out through the mouth. Try this before you appear on stage!
• Make sure that you arrive well in time and are not under pressure before you go on stage. Stress often manifests in the voice.
• Smile. It affects your voice. Really. Try it.

Your tone of voice is a key instrument of persuasion, so speak with warmth and sincerity. It increases your connection with audience members and when properly modulated will help you to sound natural.

Now go out and do some serious persuading. Speaking to an audience should not be a chore, it should be fun!

Paul du Toit, Certified Speaking Professional, Presentation Skills Expert and Author of “You Can Present with Confidence”

http://www.presentwithconfidence.co.za